No more prego mego.

Well hey, everybody! I'm back! Yes, I had another baby, my last, just over two weeks ago and I'm ready to hit the pavement again. This Monday I'm gonna start walking - slowly but at least I'm starting. I have so much to say so I'll catch you up over the next little while! I'm excited!

I take it back - I need a break from this blog! I am really grateful for the support I have received so far on this and hope to be able to come back to it after the baby is done but for now, I need a break! I might want to update it just before the baby but who knows. I'm not even sure that I'll have the time/desire/energy to keep it up after that. But just in case I'm not deleting this blog. So, until then...

Have you given up on me - because I'm still here?!

Yes, I'm still here and working out and trying to keep things up - I just didn't have the time/energy to keep this blog up. But hopefully with the holidays over I can once again. I haven't been running any marathons or anything but I've been trying to walk a few times a week and just be more active in general. The sick part of pregnancy gets you into this "do as little as possible" mode and it takes some adjustment to get out of it. But overall I'm feeling really good. I haven't weighed myself for a couple weeks - I just didn't want to ruin my Christmas! So welcome back!

Tricks or treats?

Ok, so I'm pretty proud of myself because I've made it 5 days so far without eating any Halloween candy. Also, I'm doing pretty well on that new diet thing. For breakfast I have a slimfast by itself and then for lunch I have a slimfast with half a turkey sandwich. Today I added a frozen banana to the shake in the blender and it totally tastes like a good milkshake. Then in the afternoon I can have a snack if I can find anything healthy that sounds good. For dinner I just eat a healthier dinner. I'm not eating just a chicken breast with veggies - I'm eating pretty normally. And my rules don't apply to dinner. If we have pasta and it has some cheese in it I still eat it. So far it has been helping. For a couple weeks there my weight was slowly creeping up. But now the upwards trend has stopped and in fact I've gone back down a few pounds. If that worries you, know that what I weigh now is exactly what I weighed the night before I had Andrew. And I had gained 36 pounds with that pregnancy. So, I'm good. My ultimate goal would be to stay where I am for the rest of the pregnancy. That would mean losing weight because I will be gaining blood and tissue - and of course a bigger baby along the way.

My exercise has been nonexistent this week. I have tried not to lay around as much but I haven't made it over to the gym for almost 7 days. But I'm ok - I'm going tonight. I think it's important not to get down about missing. All that will come of it is that you'll miss more. So I just say, "Whoops, I need to get over to the gym!" So, anyhow...how are you guys doing?

slim me up fast

Ok, so in an effort to slow the steady rise on my bathroom scale, I started slimfast. I know, typically people don't do that when they are pregnant, but I assure you that I have gained enough weight for two healthy pregnancies and that the baby will get plenty from the slimfast. As will I, actually. So far, it's working. And even though I have been in the typical I'm not getting enough to eat mood, I'm glad it is. My body will realize in the next little while that it doesn't require an eighth of what it thinks it does. So...until next time ladies...

I'm back...but still fat.

I'm gonna keep on going here - at least for a while...

I'm actually feeling better already. Im 12 weeks but usually my sickness lasts until 16 weeks. Now I'm only sick in the mornings - and anyone can handle that!

When ever I'm trying to lose weight I make littler inspiration sheets to hang up in the kitchen. I made this today for inspiration:



I'm pretty happy about it. Now to see if it will work! I went jogging/walking today. It was the first time since I got sick a couple months ago - I've just been swimming. It was HARD. But my body could use a little more HARD!!!

mini-me and my vain blog

While browsing through some old photos I found this one of me from Thanksgiving 2 years ago. It's mini-me! It has gotten to the point lately where I can't remember what I used to look like and also can't believe I'll ever be my old self again. I need images like this to give me faith that I can do it!

So, I've been swimming still and I'm becoming a big fan. I like how I don't get hot and my joints don't hurt. I also like the sound of the water. After I'm not sick anymore we'll see if I'm up for some jogging as well.

And finally, lately I've been wondering how vain this blog is. I know that happiness is not based on weight or pants size and so I don't want this to seem an obsession with either. I was hoping this would detail my journey back to a healthier, fitter me. But sometimes it digresses and becomes about weight. This past weekend I was visiting my in-laws and in their church congregation is a young mother who just found out she only has a few months left of her life. I felt terrible realizing how petty I've become lately. Feeling like a true blessing is more a trial. These things I worry about aren't really important. I hope that after reading this blog you don't get off and feel worse about yourself. That you aren't overly concerned about your body. My original hope was just the opposite. That you'd see that if I could get healthy - anyone could. I still believe that being healthy is really important - that keeping my body in shape will make the rest of my life more full - and that of my family's as well. I need to remember that. Especially on days where I feel like it's me against the candy bar. Anyhow, just some thoughts...

Well, well, well...

If you hadn't heard yet - this story of weight loss just got a lot longer. I found out about a month ago that I am pregnant again. That would be a great joke, wouldn't it? But I'm not kidding, it's true. Even though I've know for a while it still feels insane to write that. Anyhow, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with those races. I am pretty sure the Halloween one is off. I have just been too sick. I am swimming because it is the only thing that doesn't sound too bad. The cool water makes me feel better. Though the other night I pushed a little too hard and wanted to die for the rest of the night. So, I'll be having this baby before my current one even turns one. Talk about being fat. My goal is to gain less than 10 lbs. I really shouldn't gain ANY since I'm currently 40 pounds overweight. We'll see. I will be happy with just gaining ten or less because I'd actually need to lose some fat in order to accomplish that.

Wow. This is crazy, isn't it? Three pregnancies in a row can get old real quick.


p.s. Of course it wasn't planned!

WAKE-UP CALL...or a lot can happen in a year.

This week has been disastrous for my training. I had a great workout on Tuesday and was feeling great and then I never went after that. I was ready to wipe the week from the books and not let it get me down when I saw this photo of me. This is from my church activity tonight. Now, I'm a photographer so I know about camera distortion but this ain't that. This is all me and this is a wake-up call. When I first saw this I was totally horrified. But why am I surprised? Do I think you can be 40 pounds overweight and only look slightly bigger than you normally do? Wow. Ok, it's time to stop fooling around. It's time to look at this photo every day instead of the quick glance in the mirror standing in a strange pose to look as thin as possible.

Just for some perspective here are some old photos of me.
This is my wedding day. I was skinny. I have always been terrified that someday some friend of my kids would come over and see my wedding picture and say, "Who's that?" and when they hear it's me say, "That's your mom?!" So floored that I was once thin. That cannot happen! Or would that be possible already? Maybe.
Here's a cheesy one of me but I just remember feeling soo huge and fat that day. If only I could go back to that!

And this is about a month after my miscarriage and two months before I got pregnant with this last one - in June of last summer. I was probably about 15 pounds heavier than normal. I saw this picture and was mortified by my size. I was so sad that you could see the outline of my gut. And now? I only dream of being that size. Will it ever come back?


I have a ways to go.

Cindy's tri

A friend of mine just ran in a tri and posted about it on her blog. She didn't train before and the results are quite entertaining. Check it out!

The bees knees...

I am happy to say that I think my knee problem is under control. First thing I did was get some new shoes from the Runner's Corner. I love that place. They once again looked at my running cadence or whatever you call it. And because of their recommendation, I always get my running shoes bigger than my normal size(size 8) and this time the shoes I ended up with are a size 10! And they feel awesome...

Another trick the guys gave me at the store was to put the treadmill at a slight incline - like really slight - a 1.0. That way the ball of my foot would be hitting the belt first. And that, put together with the new shoes, has alleviated the pain! Finally!

Anyhow, overall the training is going well - slowly but well. I definitely have down days/times where I am so frustrated with my size/weight where all I want to do is sit in front of the TV and be angry. But luckily I recognize them for what they are and it helps them to pass more quickly. For now, at least.

Anyhow, how are you guys doing? Especially you Stephanie...where are you!?

I have found my tri.

Today was my first official day of training and it got me excited to find a race. I went to this website and looked for one. I wanted something soon enough to keep more going so I was a little bummed to see that the last race of this year is in November down in St. George and that the first one of next year isn't until June. Hmm...if I follow my 13 week plan strictly that takes me to the first week in December but that just won't do so...I am going to shorten my training to two months so I can run in a closer triathlon in Orem. It is a pool swim and it's the last thing you do so you don't have to worry about your hair freezing.

Though it's 9 weeks instead of 13 I think I can do it...heck, I'm still in my twenties - I better be able to! Anyone else want to join me?

this morning...

The spanish fork half marathon and 5k...

And no, I wasn't running. My husband was.
It was fun to be out there. It made me remember that I committed to do a race just like this in about five weeks. I need to get going. This week has been a hard one. I swam on Monday and then did nothing for the rest of the week. I am really getting bummed about the lack of movement in my weight. Oh well. I guess I just have to keep going - not worrying about the number on the scale. I definitely won't get thin and fit doing nothing...

just a couple things

I did my bike routine today - just to see where I was at. I biked for just under 30 minutes at level 5 - totaling 10 miles. It wasn't bad. My question is, are the calorie counters on that thing for real? It said I had burned like over 700 calories. I'm betting that is a little of an overstatement. I wish it weren't.

As for calories, I have a friend who has lost tons of weight and her main objective when going to the gym is to burn as many calories as possible. And it has been really successful for her but I just can't work out that way. I think I would go crazy. I need a race - an actual physical goal or event I am working towards. Weight loss or calories is not enough for me. My workouts need to be more utilitarian than that. Like I'm not going to use a rowing machine unless I want to row somewhere eventually. That's why I hadn't gone swimming or used a stationary bike until this week. Now that I know I've got a race doing those things - it makes sense to me. Do you feel the same way?

Here is a plan I found online* for training - it's a 13 week plan. I think I'll start that as soon as I get to consistently running for 20-30 minutes at a 10-12 minute mile pace.

one more thing - have you seen oprah's food journal? That woman doesn't eat anything! It seems it is time for me to really take stock of how much I eat. Do you eat a lot more than her too? I may just have to keep a food journal as well...

*to see the plan scroll down a bit on that page.

Update - I just found an online free food journal and punched in what I've eaten so far today. I'm already up at 819 calories and 14.4 grams of fat today. It also has tons of other features -like it tracks your measurements, weight, moods, etc. I'm already totally hooked. I just want them to have a widget for my blog!

Try-athlon

Inspired by the women's olympic triathlon, my best friend Marisa's first tri this past weekend, and lean swimmer bodies, I've decided that I'm going to set my sights on a higher goal. I love to run but honestly running a marathon has always sounded a bit boring. I know it's an amazing accomplishment but I find myself more drawn to adventure style races. And that's why triathlons have always seemed really fun. I always figured that races like that would have to wait until I was in my top form but Marisa told me that her friend went from barely running a mile to finishing a triathlon in under two hours in just two and a half months.

So...swim, fat mom, swim - and pedal too - I'm training for a triathlon! I figure I'll train over the winter months so that next spring I can kick trash in a race near here. Now, when I say triathlon - I'm talking about a triathlon sprint - which is a half mile swim, 12 mile bike, and a 6 or less mile run. The ironman will have to wait.

One thing that has always scared me away from triathlons is the swimming. I'm a terrible swimmer. But I decided it was time to grow up, don a swimsuit, and give it another go. So tonight I headed over to our pool to swim some laps. I asked Marisa the other night how much she swam when she first started training for the race. She told me 18 laps in an olympic length pool - which would be 36 in the pool in my community. Wowzer! When I went over tonight I had no idea if I could even swim more than 5 laps. The pool had not one but two young couples swimming and hugging and giggling(separately of course). The voices in my head imagined the young lovers looking at me and the girls thinking, "Gosh, I'm so glad I don't look like that." That's not helpful, I need to work on that. I really let my pessimistic voices run wild when I get in a swimsuit.

Anyhow, I put on my seven-year-old's goggles, and shoved off. Swimming freestyle, the first 3 laps were the hardest. I felt like I was near drowning as I gasped for air and splashed down the lane with hair constantly in my face(time to order a swimcap). I was a definite shark magnet too with all of my flailing and kicking. Though, after a little while I got into the rhythym of it and was able to breathe a little easier. And I kept going and was able to swim 36 laps! Now, that was really exciting for me. Though I have to admit that I can barely type because my right arm is constantly cramping. I'm sure tomorrow I'm gonna be in a world of pain but it's ok. I'm training for a triathlon!

Oh my goodness - I just got back from my run and I can't believe that the music made such a difference! I ran at a 12 minute mile pace instead of a 14 min pace. And since I was alone in the gym I was pretty much dancing through a lot of my run. Some of the lines that really inspired me today were:

I'm a survivor,
I'm not gonna give up,
I'm not gon' stop,
I'm gonna work harder,
I'm a survivor,
I'm gonna make it,
I will survive,
Keep on survivin' ,

Survivor - Destiny's Child

Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend?
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
(I always substituted my body in place of hair in this song.)

I am not my hair - India Arie

In fact, Survivor saved me because it came right when I wanted to give up and when that chorus started I was totally lovin' it. I am totally listening to music next time!

We've got the beat...

Music can be really motivating when you are running but at the same time sometimes a song can really slow you down. For me it has to be a perfect combination of the beat, the lyrics, and the overall feeling. I can't pinpoint one perfect combination - sometimes it's a happy song, sometimes it's not. There are a few songs that work almost every time for me - at least lately. I really love running to Madonna's "Hung Up" and OkGo's "Here it Goes Again" - probably because of the amazing video(see below). But sometimes a song really revs me up and I want to start throwing my fists around and jumping on each and every step - Foreigner's songs always seem to do that for me. I am a complete fanatic for the song "Cold as Ice". You better believe I'm breaking out both the air guitar and the air piano on that one. Today I'm gonna try running to Destiny's Child, "Survivor" because it will make me feel like I'm really working towards something. We'll see how it works...

What about you - what songs really hit the spot for you during your runs?

Bummer of a week

This week has been a hard one. I made that chart and for the first few days I was following the curve and then my curve started right back up again. I want to think that the chart was achievable and that if I start working harder I can catch up. I sure hope so.

I was so bummed that I didn't really do anything all this week until today. Finally, this morning I watched the women's triathlon on the olympics online and it inspired me. So I packed the kids up and took them all to our little community gym. I'd done that once before and it wasn't so bad. Today it was actually good. I turned on the cartoons - gave Peter a few toys and hopped on the treadmill. My knees were feeling better. I think the break from jogging helped.

Also, I'm sick of working out in the evenings. It's so easy to skip, let alone have the mental stamina that late in the day. Today I was able to jog 1.5 miles. It felt great actually. I haven't run with music yet and I think that might give me the extra boost I need. Next time I'll bring along the ipod.

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you just didn't want to wake up because it was so great? Well, I had one of those last night. I dreamed I was running along a trail in the forest with a group of people. And at first I was a little nervous because I knew I hadn't been running much and didn't think I'd be able to go very far . Luckily though, in my dream I was running with a great partner who kept me going - who happened to be Tom Cruise. And I realized I was actually feeling great. Also, Tom was telling me I was doing great and encouraged me to keep going and we ran several miles together at a great pace. Now, why Tom cruise? I have no idea because he kind of bugs me - though I was giving him some marriage advice for he and Katie. But unlike a lot of dreams where you feel like you can't run - I felt like I was sailing across the pavement. It was glorious. I only wish it was a reality. I have running dreams like that a good amount when I'm starting to get back into it. They usually involve an old high school coach who intimidated me quite a bit. In those dreams I'm always going back and working really hard and knocking his socks off. Something I failed to do when I was in high school. So, I'll take kooky Tom Cruise any day. Actually, there was a part of my dream where Tom wanted me to stop by his church so I could listen to a lesson on Scientology. I was a little apprehensive but kind of excited by the weirdness of it all. Unfortunately my run was cut short when I heard my three month old crying - waking me up for the morning.
As for reality...my knees are still hurting a good amount. I have had pains before but this one doesn't go away even when I stop running. So I looked it up and read that it has to do with my lack of quadricep muscle support for my knees. I need to strengthen that. Tonight I went to get on the treadmill - hoping that the pain wouldn't be too bad. But it was and so I hopped on over to the elliptical. I have never run on an elliptical before but it was actually great. My knees didn't hurt at all but my quads were burning and it was hard! So, I "ran" a mile on that and plan on working on my quad strength and resting my knees for a week or so in hopes that I can get back into jogging without losing any momentum but losing the pain.

And tonight I drew up a weight loss chart which my friend Jamie has been telling me to do and I'm glad I finally did. It was fun and it made me excited to see where I can be if I'll stop my snacking and work harder. Here it is:
It puts me at losing my weight by the 31st of October. That's just about 3 pounds a week which is pretty aggressive but completely doable...right? Really, I just ran out of room on the poster. I couldn't fit any more days on there but didn't want my chart to end above my goal weight so...

Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted.

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When your fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true.

Racing.

I went running again tonight and I realized it's time to choose my first foray back into the world of racing. Races are fun and can really get you motivated. Next spring I hope to run in the Rex Lee Run so I can finally get a coveted Rex Lee Run tee. When I was in college those were the cool of the cool.

My first race outside of school was after I had my first son and finally got into running for real. I ran in a 5k at BYU and though I wasn't fast - somewhere around 9 minute miles - it was a lot of fun. The next race I entered was a half marathon - jumping up in mileage way too fast. Which meant that I cried during more than one workout - and hated almost every step of that race. I did terribly in this one even though I trained like crazy. It happens to be called "The toughest half marathon in the northwest." I didn't take that too literally - though I should have. The first eight miles you gain 2000 feet and then the last 5 you lose 1700 feet. But the worst part was that the race shirt didn't even say half marathon on it so I couldn't wear it to show off! C'mon, we all know we race for the glory of the t-shirts! I wish I would have just chosen a regular half so that I could have felt good about my performance. Someday I'll beat that race.And this time around I've chosen an evening race. Not that I was looking for one - it just happens to fall at a time when I think I might be ready by. A Halloween race in American Fork. See you there? Should we dress up? I think so. I can't wait to plan my costume.
Someday I hope to have a place in my budget called "race money" so that I can race all the time. I hope to run fast like my best friend Marisa - she got first place in her age group and third place in a race not too long ago. She was only beat by a couple teenage girls! Now that's hot! I also hope to run in one of those races in the woods someday where you have to run through streams and mud and jump over things. What are those called? They've always seemed really interesting. And I also want to participate in a few bi/triathlons. I want to be cool like that. I love dreaming of being a hot running mom...