A look at perfect form:

Ok, so after reading Born to Run I am so in awe of ultramarathoners and trail runners. Here's a video of a guy who won the Leadville 100 miler in 2007. His form is perfect. I wish I ran like this:

My new "barefoot" shoes...

It's funny to call them that since you aren't barefoot but it's as close as it gets, I guess. I wore them all afternoon and then on my run in the evening. They felt great - I was so happy to not have to worry about little pebbles stabbing me in the heel but I do have two little hot spots on the bottom of my big toes. I was expecting some blisters so I'm ok with that. They're called Vibram Five Fingers. Here's a shot from the side so you can see there isn't much there on the bottom. They fit really snug and and very light.


I thought this was a funny image - I look like a gray-footed hobbit or some sort of cyborg.

15 down - more to go...

As of today I am 15 pounds lighter than when I started weight watchers. I am glad to see the loss but I have to admit I thought it would be a lot faster than it was. I guess I started May 8th. So that means it took me 3 1/2 months to lose that much. Above is the chart on the weight watchers site that tracks my weight. As you can see - that little trip to Idaho put a big kink in my progression. And was it worth the treats? No way. If I had just followed my regular progression I might be 5 to 10 pounds lighter right now. That's a lesson learned - I hope.

And now my mileage is going up. This next week I will run a total of 13.5 miles. That is about half of my first goal. I know once I am running 25 miles a week my weight loss with really be going.

I just finished "Born to Run" and it was soo good. I highly recommend that. I think I'll do a post about it in a couple days because it deserves it's own post. I am also planning on getting a pair of these. I'll let you know when I do.

And here's a current picture of me. I figured I should show what I look like. I still have 40 pounds to lose - can you believe that? My kids told me this morning that I'm somewhere between the yellow and green lady on top... And I was thinking of putting this photo on facebook and so I was playing around in photoshop and trying to make my arms skinnier. Once I finished my oldest said, "What don't you try it on your cheeks now?" Thanks.

p.s. I didn't put it on facebook - I always feel too sneaky skinnifying myself. If I don't like how I look, I just won't share it...

Three & Amigos

So tonight I ran three miles and I realized that it's been almost three years since I've run that far. I'm ashamed to admit it and it makes me realize how much times flies. Let's see, I got pregnant in January of 2007 and I might have run that far after I got pregnant - probably. And then I lost that baby at the end of April and I didn't run more than a mile and a half again until a couple months ago. This is a picture of me just days after I lost that baby. So maybe not three years -maybe more like a little over two - but still. So, in a lot of ways, I'm back.

AND my brother came along. I sure do love having a running buddy. It makes the run so much easier because I get that girl talk time I so desperately crave as a mother of young kids...you know?

Barefoot running...

So there is this not so new fad in running - barefoot running - and on Thursday while jogging with my new jogging partner Karen my knees were hurting. I was talking too much to focus on my form and so after the first mile I decided I was going to take my shoes off. And Karen did too - she's fun. And we ran the next mile with no shoes on. And guess what? My feet didn't hurt and my knee pain went away too! So the next night we went two miles again - the whole way sans shoes. Soo...the whole idea started when we heard the author of this book recommend running with your shoes off for a month or so to correct your form. I guess our shoes can cause us to run incorrectly. Anyhow, I'm going to get that book and I'll tell you more about the theories then. All I know is that my knees didn't hurt AT ALL on Friday and I'm going to run without shoes for the next little while...

p.s. We look like weirdos - two chubby girls running down the sidewalk barefoot...I think people must think we are strange newbies trying to be obnoxious.

I swam a mile tonight!!!!!!!!!

Boo-cycle!

Does anyone else hate bike riding? Well, not bike riding but stationary bike riding. I love my swimming, as you know, and I love my jogging, but I have yet to feel that for the bike. It hurts my bum and it's boring boring boring. I bet if I read a book on it or a blog or something it might get me excited about it. Any ideas?

p.s. Isn't that a great image?

the run of death...

Tonight's run was death! I felt like I had to fight every urge inside my body just to keep going. I think it all started today when I went clothes shopping. That is not a good idea. I never like shopping for clothes but doing it while you're chubby is so depressing.

Also, I weigh EXACTLY what I weighed one month ago. It all came crashing down when I felt like I was losing my milk and then went out of town. I just feel like the wind went out of my sails and I lost some of my ferocity. But I have decided I am no longer going to focus so much on numbers and focus more on working up to 25 miles a week. I read once that you see real weight loss when you are running that much. It worked after I had Elijah. And since I ran about 7 miles this week I've got a ways to go! But I'm still doing my weight watcher's too.

Also, I'm not sure if I'm going to do that triathlon. Trust me, I want to but I picked it back when I thought we could stay at Mike's aunt's house in Kamas(where the race is) but since then his Grandma broke her hip and had to move into his aunt's house making no room for my family. I just don't know how we're going to drag the kids up there early that morning and have Mike watch all four boys during the race. And I can't leave them home since I have to breastfeed the baby. Bummer, eh? Hmm...we'll see.

Back on top...

We went to Costco today and LOADED up on blueberries, raspberries, apples, bananas, oranges, peaches, peppers, and lettuce - which was the final shove I needed to burst OUT OF MY LULL! Hooray - feeling back on track again and happy! I love summer and all her treats!

Lull-a-bye

So....I'm in a little bit of a lull.  Trips always do this to me - they ruin my momentum.  I eat poorly, miss a few workouts, gain a couple pounds and VOILA I'm bummed out and in a lull.    So while in Idaho I gained a few pounds and this week I'm not making the kind of progress I want to.  Instead I'm just trying to get back to where I was before the holiday.  So that's two weeks lost.  Bummer, eh?  

Another thing putting me in a lull is the fact that I need to go to the grocery store.  I don't have enough healthy choices around here so I get hungry and mad and end up hating weight watchers.  

Put it together and what have you got?  Me feeling more fat than ever.  Isn't it horrible how we do that to ourselves?  When we are having a hard time working out instead of getting all motivated we beat ourselves up and feel five times bigger than the day before.  And for the record let me say that I HATE walking in and out of Gold's Gym.  Seriously - at the grocery store I may be a normal pudgy young mom but at Gold's Gym I am a seriously overweight woman in her 40's.  Ugh.  Oh well, here's a comic strip to give you a laugh...

Fat mom swims...

Sorry it has been a while since I last posted - my computer is broken. Tonight I am using Mike's laptop from work.

My workout today was to swim for 30 minutes and it felt great. As I was swimming I was thinking back to June when swimming was so difficult. I was doing mostly breaststroke because I couldn't barely make it across the pool doing free-style without choking and feeling like I was going to drown. Tonight I swam over a half a mile(1000 meters) and did the whole thing in free style! I even passed the guy in the lane next to me! I have really come to love swimming. I am happy when I see that I get to swim on my schedule. I love that my body doesn't hurt, that I stay nice and cool, and the rhythm of my breathing and the water splashing. Swimming is a good workout for fat moms...except the walk to and from the pool. I hate parading around in my swimsuit but once I'm in the water I'm ok. I am actually pretty proud of making so much progress in just one month.

In other news I just got back from a little trip we took for the 4th. And let me say that it is really hard to eat well when you are staying at some one else's house and eating their food. I ate terribly and I didn't get to all of my workouts either. But oh well, I'm just gonna have to take it in stride.

Right now my least favorite workouts are actually my running ones. I'm just so all over the place with my pace - though when I'm on the treadmill it does help. Hopefully those workouts become just as enjoyable as the swimming. I'm sure they will...in time.

Weight watcher's & breastfeeding

Sometimes people give me a hard time about doing weight watchers and all this exercise while nursing. I don't know why they care so much but this last week my milk was really having a hard time in the evenings so it seemed maybe their concern was justified. But I still don't think it is. Let me share with you what I ate on Saturday so you can see how much I'm eating.

Breakfast:

1 medium banana

1/8 cup raisins

1/2 cup cooked steel cut oats

1 slice whole wheat bread

1/2 c fat-free milk

Lunch

2/3 c bowtie pasta with tomatoes, garlic & basil

1/4 c hummus

1 c carrots

1/2 c unsweetened applesauce

Dinner

Grilled chicken

2 cups iceberg lettuce

2 ounces cheese

1/2 c croutons

2 T lite ranch

a few bites of Andrew's cheeseburger

Snacks

Fruit leather

String cheese

samples at Costco

1 c whole grain chips

1/2 c hummus

1 c skim milk

So that is Saturday and I wasn't hungry and in my mind I ate plenty of food. I also drank at least 64 ounces of water. And while my milk was having a hard time in the evenings I just don't think it is from my diet/water intake. I heard that it can also be linked to sleep which if that's true my sleep was terrible this last week. I went to bed late and when I did fall asleep I was plagued by stressful dreams. So, I got myself some mother's milk tea and I'm drinking even more water and making sure I'm getting rest and we'll see if that helps. But really people, do you really think that this isn't enough food?

Before and can't wait until the after...

This morning after I put on some jeans and a too-tight t-shirt and looked in the mirror and realized I looked terrible. Then I remembered that I've been meaning to take a "before" picture and that in this outfit would be a perfect time since just putting on some different clothes would make me look like I lost weight. Still though, it is me and I do look awful fat. Oh well, I'm just gonna forget about it for a while.

Did you want to see it? i posted it for like an hour but changed my mind... if you missed it you're gonna have to wait until it's truly a before...

Updates updates updates

WEIGHT

So things are actually going pretty well. I didn't lose 3 lbs last week but I did lose 2.5 lbs. I have decided that it's probably not best to set a time limit for weight loss - at least one that specific because you really don't know what your body is going to do. Instead you should set the goal for your workouts/diet because that you can completely control. And I measured myself last week and I've lost two inches on my waist and some more on my chest/arms. That made me feel good.

WORKOUTS

My workouts are HARD but that has been really satisfying. Swimming kills me every time but last night I noticed that my times have improved considerably even though it's only been a couple of weeks. My main goal right now is to get my swimming workouts to be completely done in freestyle without stopping in between laps. At first I could only do one length in freestyle and then I switched to breaststroke for four lengths but last night I was able to do 4 lengths freestyle - two lengths breaststroke. So that made me happy. I also met a guy in the lane next to me last night who said he was running and lifting weights and wasn't seeing many results but he started swimming and lost 50 pounds! I hope he didn't see the sparkle in my eye when he said that - he now swims a mile twice a week. That's 64 lengths in the pool at Gold's Gym. I also am working towards my time on the treadmill to be jogging exclusively. Right now I'm doing a mix of walking and jogging. Last night I was on the treadmill for 25 minutes (followed by a swim) and I walked the first 15 minutes and jogged the next 10.

MOTIVATION

So motivation is always hard. My strategy right now has been to workout no matter what. Sometimes that gets hard like last Saturday Mike dropped me and my two oldest off at the gym while he went to the store. The thought being that they could play in the childcare while I rode the bike for 45 minutes. Unfortunately after Mike dropped me off and drove away we found out that childcare was closed so we had to sit there for 55 minutes doing nothing until Mike got back. And let me tell you there wasn't a bone in my body that wanted to drive home, drop off my family, and go back to the gym! But I went home, ate dinner, fed the baby, and went back. In the past I NEVER would have done that. I would have thought, "Hey, I TRIED to workout but it got screwed up!" But no more excuses this time. Excuses are what make you fat. Like, "It's not that big of a deal to eat at McDonald's tonight - besides, I am so busy with the two babies I deserve it!" Watching Biggest Loser made me realize that every workout and every day matters when it comes to obtaining your goals on the scale.

FUTURE PLANS

So I am totally stoked because next year I am going to run in the Wasatch Back. Have you heard of it? It's a RAGNAR relay race from Logan to Park City and you run it on a team of 12 people. Marisa and I decided we're not gonna let another year pass without us being on a team so...YAY!

IN THE END

I owe soooo much to my husband Mike. He is a huge support because it's not easy for anyone when every evening I leave for at least an hour and he stays home with the kids. He NEVER complains and is always so positive and supportive. And any time I say anything like, "I am so big, look at my belly!" He always says, "Don't worry, it won't last forever." Which is exactly what I want to hear. I know he doesn't get the luxury to leave and work out like I do and I owe him big time for that.


p.s. Am I boring you?

p.p.s. Here's a training program for next year's Wasatch Back - it's for beginners.

A no-brainer

Last night I went to power-pump and it was ridiculously hard. Once again I was by far the fat one in class only this time I couldn't get the spot with no mirrors by it so I had to see myself every once in a while. And I had to use my new motto when it comes to losing weight -

"Don't THINK about it - just DO it."

Because I can THINK of all sorts of reasons not to exercise or do this or that and if I THINK about it too much I get depressed or angry or all sorts of things so I just have to completely turn my brain off and not think. I am constantly fighting all of my thoughts - like having my finger in the hole in a dam. It's like I'm trying to hold off temptation - I've put up a lead wall in between me and my brain when it comes to my body, my weight, and my training program. In the past when I'd be getting in shape again I'd have days that my baby would wake up all night long -like the night before last - and I'd THINK, "Ok, so I don't have to exercise as hard or at all today." This time I can't afford those thoughts. Or the thoughts, "You are so fat, how did you ever let this happen?" Luckily when I want to take my finger out of the hole in the dam, Mike is there to reinforce me. He helps me to not worry about it, stop thinking, and just do it. I can't hold my brain off forever but I need to hold it off at least until I see some results and then I'll have the fuel to turn it off again. And that strategy is really helping.

So, I wanted to lose 3 pounds...how much did I end up losing? ZERO. None. Nothing.

Ugh. Oh well. This week was probably a bad week to start this 3 pound weight loss since it was my birthday and of course I gave myself a cheat day for that. And boy did I cheat. Last night I asked Mike to give me a pep talk. I realized that I am terrified of working really hard at the gym, eating well, and not losing any weight. I am terrified of being powerless to lose the weight. Hopefully this next week I see big strides. I just want to know I am in control. I just don't want it to be out of my hands. You know?

Highs & Lows

So, Saturday was a harder day for me. It all started during my workout. I was scheduled to ride the bike for 35 minutes and it wasn't too hard except that the seat was waaaay uncomfortable on the upright bike. And though I'd like to claim that was because it was a cheap or poorly built bike, I know the real reason is because my bum is too big for the seat.

After that I got home and was helping Mike move a mirrored cabinet and part of the time he was moving it I just got to stare at my reflection. While being forced to look at myself I realized I have been avoiding mirrors for the last little while and for good reason. Actually two good reasons, my gut and my bum.

Then I went to the store and tried on a shirt hoping to find some cute outfit to make myself feel more attractive. Not so, it just made me feel worse. But I did wander by the pantie section and got some of those corset-like underwear that holds you in. When I got home and put it on I hit the low of the lows. It was soo tight and so difficult to get up. I wanted to crawl into my closet and disappear. Then Mike came in and said, "Aren't they supposed to be that tight? Isn't that kind of the point?" Immediately I felt better and had hope - I tugged a little more to get them the rest of the way up. And then I had a high - I looked wayyyyy better - go tight panties! Anyhow, nothing really interesting. I just wanted to share the little things we experience every day that feed into the way we feel about ourselves.

Keep the blinders on...

Ahh, Gold's Gym - I have so many stories to tell about you already. All of them centering around me being treated like a half ton woman. Last night I got my trash kicked at Power-pump. I love that class. It's the one that does aerobics with weights and it is a killer. Last time I got really skinny I owed a lot of it to that class. There was a part of the routine that I couldn't even do - so I sat on my feet and waited. It was this ridiculous abs part. At the end of the class I went to talk to the 19 year old instructor to ask if there was a more basic thing I could do until I'm in shape enough to do that. Before I started she said, like she was talking to a five year old, "Hey, good job!" giving me a high five and then added, "You look great!"

Thanks. I had already positioned myself so that I couldn't see my reflection in any of the mirrors and tried the whole time to keep a good attitude despite my chubbiness. That high five nearly destroyed all my efforts to stay positive. But using positivity of steel, I let it slide.

The night before I met with a trainer thinking it was going to be a Gym orientation - it's not. It's really just a sales pitch to convince you to pay several hundred dollars a month on a trainer. Anyhow, he said lots of self esteem boosting stuff. Like when he asked what my goals are and I said to get back into the 130's. He replied, "I think the 150's are a lot more realistic for you." Hmm, thanks.

But despite all that - I really like the gym. The equipment is all top notch and tonight I get to use the lap pool - I'm excited. I just have to keep my blinders on and ignore the fact that I'm the chubbiest gal in the classes and that I look terrible in my workout clothes. Someday it won't be that way and until then I'm just gonna smile my way through it.

Get your butt in gear...

That title is a line from "Footloose" and sometimes it comes into my head - especially with such a big butt to get in gear. Thus the great image. That is so me except I've got lighter hair.

One of my favorite parts of getting in shape and running is the planning. I just love making tables and calendars, researching programs, and getting it all down on paper. Then each day I don't have to wonder what I'm going to do -I just walk up to my fridge, where the program is stuck on with a magnet, and look at today's workout. On my fridge I also have a chart for tracking my weight. Sometimes I wonder if I should take it down when I have guests but then I figure - who am I kidding - they know I'm overweight! Still sometimes, when it's someone I especially feel self conscious around, I take it down.

I'm also finding that training for a tri is a lot better than straight running. When I'm just running it's easier to get burnt out because each day I know what I'm doing - just running. With the tri though - I'm never quite sure and get a new kind of workout each and every time.

3 is the magic number...

So I'm 30 now and I belong to Gold's Gym. Don't they say it's harder to lose weight the older you get? Let's hope not this time.

So I have a mini goal - and it may be a hard one. I want to lose 3 pounds a week for the next four weeks. That would be 12 pounds and that would put me into a range that I haven't been since I was pregnant with Peter. Why four weeks? Well, I have two family reunions at that time and even though 12 pounds won't make me thin(or even close) it will boost my confidence a lot and make me have a better time. Let's hope I make it - wait, I am going to make it. Must stay positive! See you next Monday at the weigh-in.