4/22/08

Worst Nightmare

I always wonder if photojournalists get permission to take pictures of people like this. They aren't showing their head but I'm pretty sure if I saw a photo of me like that I'd know it was me.

It's one of my worst nightmares that I'd be looking through the news or watching a report on CNN on fat people and they are showing all of these big bums and I say "Hey, I have that bag!" or "I actually have some jeans like that." When all of a sudden it hits me that IT IS my bag or my jeans...and MY big bum!





Especially with this lady - yes, she's big, but give her a break - she's working on it! I am afraid my postpartum body will be worthy of one of these "obesity reports" that sport pictures like these.






Though this lady is committing double jeopardy holding that cigarette. They can use this photo for articles on obesity, smoking, or ones that talk about both...she really was asking for it.

4/4/08

Day Zero - 4 weeks left of pregnancy

Well, I've still got 4 weeks left and yet I've already hit the big number. I was hoping to finish at this to have a really clean number to start my descent from but alas...it may not happen. I think I'm actually 197 or something so perhaps I can keep it right around 200 still. The doctor told me today that the baby seems to be around 6 lbs. so I can at least count on losing that much! Actually, I don't think I'll really know what I'm dealing with until about 3 weeks after the baby is born. I usually shed quite a bit of weight until then and at that point it starts a much slower decent. I am excited though. For some reason I don't feel too depressed at this point. Well, most days I don't. I'm just sick of heaving my body around - trying to turn over in bed or to squat to look under the couch looking for little shoes. I am kind of excited for the journey I have ahead. Kind of like before a marathon. I am nervous but still confident that it can be done. And what exactly needs to be done, you ask? Well, my healthy weight, if I am exercising, is 130 lbs. on the dot. If I want to be HOT, you ask? I need to be 120-125 lbs. We'll start with 130 and go from there.

Now, on the subject of weighing 200 lbs. If someone had told me I was EVER going to weight that much - EVER in my life, unless I was having triplets or something, I wouldn't have believed them. Or maybe I would have believed but I would have been completely HORRIFIED. But when my weight just kept coming it was almost like I was in some sort of place where I couldn't feel depressed - I'm just too tired to get that worked up about it, I guess. I also didn't know it would be so easy to get to that weight. At the beginning of my pregnancy I was talking to a friend who had just had a baby and she told me she was weighing at around 210 when the baby was born - nearly 80 lbs. overweight. I was so flabbergasted that I just burst into laughter. I couldn't imagine someone my size weighing that incredible weight! And now, here I am! I was a little hesitant to share my real weight on here because I know some of you will be like me and think, "WOW! How on earth!?" but oh well, I laughed and now I will let you laugh too. And, it's not that interesting to read about a fat mom running off her weight if you don't know what that weight is! I am going to try and make this blog as candid as possible. Notice though, that this first picture is not a full body shot and it's taken from the side - I guess I'm not completely ready to put it all out there yet.

In any case, I'll update you with my final pregnancy weight in a few weeks. After that, this blog can really get going. So hold tight and come back in about a month and join me in my journey!