Dangit!

Why did I sign up for this race?!!!! I am going to be DEAD LAST! My mile time on a good day is 12 minutes! I am so stinking slow...

DANGIT!

No more guessing...

Did I tell you that for the last month I haven't really been doing my weight watcher's? Well, I haven't. I thought I was doing it but didn't feel like recording it and then at the end of a day when I figured I'd stayed in my point range I would record it and see I was way over - sometimes as much as 20 points. And that was on days when I thought I was doing well. So, I am back to being rigid with the system. And it seems to be helping. I also made a new rule to weigh myself every day. Before I said that checking once a week was better but I found myself playing games - knowing that friday was my weigh in day I would eat poorly over the weekend telling myself I had the work week to get back to business but in the end that just made my progress slower. So now, no more games - I'm checking every day to keep focused. And hopefully by Christmas I will fit back into at least some of my clothes...

p.s. Is how slow my progress is boring you?

Weight Watchers on Running...

Here's a great article from the Weight Watcher's site that I thought I'd share...

Always wanted to try running? Go for it: It's a great way to boost your workout when you've reached a rut, and it's fun!

Tawni never thought she could run a marathon. In fact she never thought she could run a single stride. "It never occurred to me," she recalls. "I thought I was too fat."

Tawni, a 33-year-old San Franciscan, tried one fad diet after another. But it wasn't until 10 years ago that she began to add consistent exercise to her regimen. "Before that I was sitting on my butt," she confesses. "Domino's Pizza was on my speed dial. That's not a good sign."

She started on the road to fitness the way most women do: by walking. But after about a year, she started thinking she needed something more. One day she heard some friends talking about running on the treadmill at 4 miles an hour. That was about how fast I was walking," Tawni says. "It had never occurred to me to run. I remember a light bulb turning on in my head."

She decided to pick up the pace, and immediately felt the difference. That was three years and two marathons ago. Tawni has transformed her life, and her figure, through running.

And she's not alone: Participation in running events — from the 5K race (3.1 miles) to the marathon (26.2 miles) — has grown steadily over the years. Many declare we are in the midst of a second running boom, and, unlike the original boom in the 1970s, this one isn't fueled by middle-age men emulating Olympians, but by middle-age women inspired by their new health.

Instead of running for competition or medals, today's runner is more likely to run for health, weight maintenance, self-confidence and fun. They've discovered what researchers have confirmed: Running is one of the best ways to burn calories and strengthen your cardiovascular system. It can also help lower the risk of many diseases, including breast cancer, stroke, and high blood pressure. And it can help boost levels of self-esteem and reduce stress.

Of course, if you're a walker, these statistics are no reason to abandon walking, especially since the above benefits apply to you as well. But running can give you an exercise intensity boost.

Ready, set, go
Get an OK from your doctor before you begin. You'll need precious few things:

• Comfortable, light shorts
  
  
• A T-shirt
  
  
• A supportive bra
  
  
• Good shoes. You don't have to buy the most expensive pair in the store, but plan to invest in supportive, stable shoes that can carry you for a mile or more. Shop at a specialty store, or at least where the salespeople are knowledgeable and can help you find the right pair

Shoes laced?
Before you give running a try, work up to a point when you can walk briskly for 30 minutes nonstop. The idea here is to gradually progress from walking/running to running. Don't worry about speed: Running is not sprinting. It is not done at a breathless, my-heart-is-going-to-explode-at-any-minute pace.

But it is more demanding, especially at first, than many other forms of aerobic activity. Just try to maintain a conversational pace (meaning that you can carry on a conversation while you run). Be conscious of proper running form:

• Look ahead as you run, not at the ground (this will help you maintain good posture)
  
  
• Keep your upper body upright. Don't slouch
  
  
• Bend your arms at a 90-degree angle. Your arm swing should extend from about the hip up to the middle of the chest. This will help keep you from getting too much side-to-side motion in your stride, a common problem among beginning female runners

Run together
One of the best ways to ensure the success of your running regimen is to run with someone else. Safety lies in numbers, plus, a running buddy can provide motivation and inspiration.

Remember: It's not just about losing weight, it's about gaining insight. It's not only about building a stronger heart, it also builds a stronger character. Particularly at first, running takes discipline and patience. But once you hit your stride, you won't look back.

I am healed!

I have been nervous all weekend to run again. As you know, my last run was horrendous. So tonight after a great dinner of Thai Lobster Curry Soup at Zupa's and a nice thunderstorm I headed out. And it was fantastic. It was cool, wet, and dark and I had no ankle pain and very little knee pain. My oldest rode his bike next to me and we had a great time. And it was my fastest run yet. So, take that crazy hard run!

My Mount Doom Run...

So this past Monday I went on a hike with my family through the mountains to Stewart Falls. And though the hike was beautiful and pretty easy at one point I thought I'd hotdog it and jump over a big tree that had fallen across the trail. Needless to say, it was a bad decision and on the other side instead of landing on flat ground my foot landed on the side of a rock and I slightly twisted my ankle.

Fast forward until yesterday and my long run. My ankle had been bothering me throughout the week but it was really bad yesterday. Pair that with the late afternoon heat and a lack of water and you've got the worst run of my life on your hands.

After the first mile and a half I was doing a sort of limping jog - which isn't really pretty to see or to do. And I was hot hot hot. And I just felt awful. As I made it to the half way point I had to stop and just breathe - my face felt like fire and my ankle and knee were both so tender. I wanted to quit at that point but I didn't see the use since I had so far to go still and we had to be somewhere shortly after my run.

As I climbed up and down the hills on my way home I couldn't help but think of The Lord of the Rings. Remember in the third book when Frodo and Sam are on Mount Doom and they are trying to make it to the top? And they really think they can't make it? They really think they are going to die but they just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other? That was my run. Already the pain of it is fading...though I still have a knot in my stomach when I think about it. Hopefully my ankle gets better really quick so that I don't have to miss any days next week...

Signed, sealed, almost delivered...

I finally officially signed up for a race - meaning I payed and everything. Anyone want to join me? It's the Telos Turkey Tri in Orem....

So...I'm fat.

Man, do you ever watch movies and after it's over have to realize you don't look like the main character in the movie? I do. Lately though, when I see a picture of myself I am reminded I don't look like my old self. You'd think by now I'd know what I look like but I try really really hard not to! Here's an image of me when I got home from my long run(which is only 4 miles) last Saturday. So, now you know...I'm still fat. And I'm really red and sweaty and ugly in this pic too. I wish I could find a recent pic the showed that I don't always look so terrible but I can't. Which is depressing and makes me wonder if I'll ever look better than this. I don't know why this surprises me though - I still have like 40 pounds to lose...

But it does. And I just want to crawl out of my flesh and into my old self and feel light and not take up so much universe. I want to be smaller. And just to make myself feel better...here's an old image of me when I wasn't fat. I LOVE looking at old pictures of me when I wasn't chubby. It helps me to visualize the idea of me being thin again. I also have cute hair, a cute sweater and make-up on in this pic. Which reminds me. I have been surprised as my mileage is going up at how much I am dealing with some serious demons. I am constantly fighting thoughts that I can't do it or actual unexplained fear. Isn't that strange? I have really figured that out yet...

p.s. I am grateful for a healthy body and for all of the other many blessings in my life. Just FYI. And someday I'll be as I was before...and I'll still think I'm fat.