Sorry that I haven't updated the blog in a while - I moved to a new place & we are now pretty much settled. And you want to know how I feel? I feel like Kirstie Alley. Well, I guess I don't know how she feels - I mean I feel like I look like Kirstie Alley. And that isn't good. It means I'm in a bad mood a lot and that I have a hard time not wanting to eat chocolate or something sweet. This morning I went to the park with my kids and there were lots of other moms there. I found myself being so self conscious that I wanted to pick up a megaphone and start explaining that I'm not usually so overweight and that I feel pretty upset about it all. It's silly to feel that way - I really need to overcome that. But I don't feel like myself - it messes with your identity when you are heavier than normal. When you're pregnant you let that cover for it but then when you aren't anymore - you are left wondering, "So, I'm still fat - what does that mean?"
Not that I expect to have lost all my weight by now - it just gets to me sometimes. I know what would make me feel better - exercise. And there really isn't much time for that so either I need to get up in the morning before Mike leaves or do it in the evening. I'd like to do it in the morning but when you've been waking up all night long with the baby it's pretty hard to want to get out of bed. Another thing I need to get over. So tonight I'll turn the kids over to Mike and head out...
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