Losing weight requires faith.

I've been really down about my weight lately. It's really hard on me to wake up every morning and have to put on my "clown pants" and tight shirts. I think I just keep expecting to wake up as my old self. I feel like a fairy tale character or something from a Miyazaki movie where some witch has put a curse on me and turned me into some ugly fat woman. Sometimes my body just feels so inescapable. I haven't lost weight in weeks and nothing seems to be working. I know that if I can just hold on it will start to slip away. Until then it is so difficult. For the first month after I had the baby I think I just ignored the way I look - hoping that it would change before I had to face the reality of it. But now I'm having to see myself as I really am and it's really really hard on me. It's times like these when people give up I guess. But luckily there is a glimmer of hope as I remember that I've been here before and lost it. I've been fat and then thin again. I can and will do it again. In the mean time I shouldn't treat myself as such an object. I shouldn't feel I only deserve love if I am a lovely object. I am not this body. The song "I am not my hair" by India Arie came into my mind today and I really should think of it more often as I'm trying to work through this...